The Evil Perfection
by Lady Eivel
Summary: I saw some Mary Sue bashing fics and liked them so much I decided to write one of my own. No offence is meant to any Mary Sue authors, just the Mary Sues themselves. ON HAITUS
1. Intro and chapters

**The Evil Perfection**

**Introduction**

I read so many Mary Sue bashing fics and I liked them so much I wanted to do one too. So here it is ladies and gentlemen, my own Mary Sue bashing quartet.

**Chapters**

**Part One- Harry Potter and the 'perfect' girl**

In which Harry falls under a spell and Ginny gets to beat up a Mary Sue.

**Part Two- Anakin Skywalker and the 'perfect' girl**

In which Anakin falls under a Dark Lady's power and Padme and Obi-Wan get to beat up a Mary Sue.

**Part Three- Legolas and the 'perfect' girl**

In which Legolas is bewitched and the Fellowship get to beat up a Mary Sue.

**Part Four- Peter Pevensie and the 'perfect' girl**

In which Peter falls under the power of an enchantress and everybody gets to beat up a Mary Sue!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own this stuff, but many people seem to think they do and that they can be so evil as to make people fall in love and go more OOC than my Russian teacher on a rollercoaster (and believe me, that is OOC). This disclaimer applies to all chapters.

Let the Mary Sue bashing commence!


	2. Harry Potter

**THE EVIL PERFECTION**

**PART ONE- Harry Potter and the 'perfect' girl**

In which Harry falls under a spell and Ginny gets to beat up a Mary Sue

Disclaimer was in the previous chapter. No offence is meant to any one person, just Mary Sues.

Pairings in this chapter: Harry/OC; Harry/Ginny (I'm not against H/H, but Ginny had the bat bogey hex)

0-0-0

Harry was walking in the Hogwarts grounds, thinking about Ginny, as usual. He was pretty deeply in love, anyone could see that. Nobody reckoned anything could come in the way of the couple.

But one fan fiction author was about to introduce that curse above all curses: The Mary Sue!

0-0-0

The evil, yet perfect, girl waited in the Forest. Just a few metres more, and the boy would be hers! Windfall tossed back her raven hair. The poor bird squawked, causing her to put a silencing charm on it, even though she had only just picked up a wand for the first time. Luckily, the boy simply thought is was a harmless bird in the forest and continued walking. Little did he know that a pair of emerald eyes watched his every move. Yes, emerald. Real emeralds. Despite the fact that her eyes were precious stones, the girl saw everything perfectly, and gripped her wand.

As soon as Harry was within a metre of her hiding place, she gracefully stood and called his name with a soft, melodious voice. He turned around, looking at her. She raised her flawless arms, the black dress she wore staying perfectly in place as she did so. She smiled. If Harry didn't fall for her looks, her author would soon have him head-over heels for her.

Sure enough, he moved towards her as if in a trance. She scowled. He hadn't fallen for the perfect looks. At least she'd found a decent author, the last one couldn't even describe Harry properly.

"u r butiful!" (translation: You are beautiful) He breathed. She smiled in return. Okay, so her new author's spelling needed serious work, but Harry was hers!

"as r u, mi luv!" she replied. (translation: As are you, my love)

"Harry? Harry- where are you?" she heard a voice calling across the grounds. Ginny. It was time to go. She apparated them to her mansion, even though she had only just begun to learn magic.

"slep now mi luv" (translation: Sleep now, my love)she crooned as they got there, landing in a luxurious lounge. Harry obediently lay down, his head on her lap and was almost instantly asleep.

0-0-0

Ginny quietly made her way through the undergrowth. According to Dumbledore, a lot of dark magic had been recently performed just ahead of where she was. Having refused an offer of help, she had set out to get Harry back.

For some reason there was a mansion just ahead, which nobody had seen from the castle. She shook her head. Dumbledore had told her that this girl would be abnormal, he had learnt from previous experience with the Marauders. Quietly, Ginny moved forward. It was easy to get in the mansion- the stupid girl had forgotten to put any protective enchantments on the place, except for the one that stopped you seeing it from far off.

Grinning, Ginny crept inside.

0-0-0

The mansion looked like something out of a fairy tale- with a huge, airy entrance hall with a massive set of stairs leading up to the next floor. Ginny, however, decided to try the doors on the ground level first. Thefirst door she came to was unlocked, and she flung it open.

Inside was her worst nightmare. A girl sat on a sofa. And beside her, his head on her lap, was Harry. The girl looked up.

"gini" she half-sang in a melodious voice. Ginny felt sick.

"I'm here for Harry. Give him back to me."

"a but i cant. hes min now." (translation: Ah, but I can't. He's mine now."

"And?"

"an mi aufor dosnt lik hary/gini fics." (translation: And my author doesn't like Harry/Ginny fics.)

"Well, this author does. In fact, this author likes any Harry/canon character pairing so long as it isn't slash. And my favourite happens to be Harry/Ginny" said a disembodied voice, which seemed to echo around the room. "Anyways, this is my story, so your author doesn't count any more."

"Who are you?" asked Ginny.

"I'm the author of this story. Ginny, I want you to get rid of her. Use anything you want. I won't interfere."

"Well, in that case..."

"i hav sords! mor magick scills thun u culd posiblee emagin! i was criated perfict!" (translation: I have swords! More magic skills than you could possibly imagine! I was created perfect!) Somehow, even when she shrieked, her voice still sounded melodious. Ginny shook her head. She was far gone, this one.

"Hey, Miss Perfect? How do you think your perfect self will look covered in bat bogeys?" as she said those words, Ginny fired the Bat Bogey hex at Windfall, who shrieked once before she was covered in flapping mucus bats. The Mary Sue continued to scream as Ginny turned to Harry, who had begun to wake up.

"Gin?" he asked. "What happened?"

"It's all right. It's over now." She said, hugging him tight. "All that matters is that you're back."

"I WIL HAV MI VENGENS! I WIL WREK HAVOCK ACROS TEH LAND OF FICSHUN! U CANOT STOP ME!" Windfall shrieked again before vanishing. (translation: I will have my vengeance! I will wreak havoc across the land of fiction! You cannot stop me!)

"Those poor people in theother stories." Ginny said quietly.

"We should go help them." Harry agreed.

"But how will we know where she's gone? There's millions of fiction books out there, and even more films and plays!"

"I think that's where I come in." the voice from before said.

"Who are you? Where are you?" asked Harry before Ginny could say anything.

"I'm the author, Harry. Put away your wand- you can't get me because I'm not there."

"There?"

"Where you are. Now shut up and let me explain. That… thingGinny just got with the Bat Bogeys (really nice hex by the way) can travel. It invades an author's mind until the unhappy thing writes them into a story, where they will always make the best characters fall in love with them."

"So where did that one go?"

"We need to hurry up. This one's gone to Star Wars, and if we don't get there soon, Anakin will be lost to the Dark Side of Fan Fiction (Mary Sues) forever! And Luke and Leia won't exist!"

"Get us over there then!"

"I was about to do that any way. Half a moment, I just need to write you in… done! Let publication, and transportation, commence!"

0-0-0

My first humour fic. Please tell me how I've done so far!


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